I have a routine.
I go to bed between 10 and 11, 9:30 if I'm lucky. The only problem is that I don't fall asleep right away. I watch TV. Lots and lots of TV.
Right before we moved I put up a little fight and was able to get DRV in my bedroom. I know this sounds extravagant and I can justify it by saying that there are shows my husband refuses to watch, but that would be a waste of time and not totally true.
Usually I get caught up on the "Chelsea Lately" from the previous night. I fuckin' love that show. She has my dream job. I'd never be able to be nearly as funny, thin or tall as she is, but a girl can dream, right? I love her side kick, Chewy. Their dynamic is hysterical. The way she just throws PC to the wind and teases him about being a midget kills me. I love anyone willing to be un-PC in a funny way.
Once a week I watch the "Soup". Love love love this show. It totally gets me off.
I've been trying to finish the "Real Word" at night. I have two episodes left. I have a strong feeling that when they are over I'll be dedicating an entire blog to that show.
Another regular is the weekly broadcast of the "Girls Next Door. Holy. Shit. I never thought in my life I'd like these girls, but they are so endearing and totally hot. The show is never groundbreaking, but it's the kind of entertainment numbness a girl needs before falling asleep.
Then there are shows that I'll watch once I take my glasses off and start trying to fall asleep. Shows I can just listen to that I don't really need to see to know what's going on.
Steven Colbert and John Stewart. I know I know. I should pay more attention, but the thing is that I can just listen to these shows and I don't really need to see what is going on. And hell, if I doze off, I can always replay it the next night.
Real Time with Bill Mahar - Again, I can just listen to it and not need to see it.
E! News - Oh the shame.
Finally I fall asleep. By time Chris comes to bed he ALWAYS turns the TV off. If I'm not in a deep sleep I will incoherently insist I was watching whatever is on.
It's a pretty dope routine I've been rockin out.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
1-26-08 Saturday - It's time to talk about this
I watched Dangerous Encounters with Dr. Brandy Barr early this week. It was on National Geographic which has proven to be the channel that brings me the most entertainment recently. This show was no exception.
Armed with a 200 pound kevlar hippo suit, Brady Barr went undercover in the wilds of Africa to stalk these 3 1/2 ton creatrues. The goal? Collect hippo "super sweat" and study it for protective agents.
Did Brady Barr learn nothing from Steve Irwin and that Grizzly bear guy? Seriously? I'm so confused by people who need to be so close to dangerous animals.
Yes, he was trying to collect their sweat for scientific study, but they had also mentioned that they have already collected their sweat by sedating the animal. I'm no scientist, but it seems to me that this would be good enough.
Hippos do multiple things to show you that you are not welcome on their turff. They fake charge you at first. Which would be more then enough to make me run. They also unhindge their jaw and open they mouth really really big and scary. Their canine teether are up to 28 inches long and according to Brady Barr they can bite through the think skin of another hippo. The most entertertaining thing they do to show aggression is what was referred to as a "dung shower". They explosively relieve their bowels while wagging their tiny tail, spraying shit as far as the eye can see.
So Dr. Barr gets his suit all in order and heads out to hang with the hippos. The first attempt didn't work. The beasts took off, according to Brady Barr because they could smell him. So the only logical thing to do is cover the suit in hippo shit, right?
That's exactly what they did. Picture this. The guy is in a 200 pound hippo disguise, it's 150 degress in it and it's covered in SHIT. What would you do? Probably the exact same thing he did. Vomit and dry heave.
But he didn't give up. No no no. He went back. AT NIGHT. Fucking hell. WHY??????? I can't imgaine the fear of being surrounded by 40 hippos and having your vision impaired.
The sad thing is I don't even remember if he was able to collect the sweat because I spent so much time saying "why why why" and laughing my ass off.
Please watch this if you get the chance. It's very entertaining and even educational. I had no idea hippos were capable of a "dung shower", you learn something new every day.
I couldn't find a video of the dung shower, but you'll enjoy David Letterman talking about it.
Armed with a 200 pound kevlar hippo suit, Brady Barr went undercover in the wilds of Africa to stalk these 3 1/2 ton creatrues. The goal? Collect hippo "super sweat" and study it for protective agents.
Did Brady Barr learn nothing from Steve Irwin and that Grizzly bear guy? Seriously? I'm so confused by people who need to be so close to dangerous animals.
Yes, he was trying to collect their sweat for scientific study, but they had also mentioned that they have already collected their sweat by sedating the animal. I'm no scientist, but it seems to me that this would be good enough.
Hippos do multiple things to show you that you are not welcome on their turff. They fake charge you at first. Which would be more then enough to make me run. They also unhindge their jaw and open they mouth really really big and scary. Their canine teether are up to 28 inches long and according to Brady Barr they can bite through the think skin of another hippo. The most entertertaining thing they do to show aggression is what was referred to as a "dung shower". They explosively relieve their bowels while wagging their tiny tail, spraying shit as far as the eye can see.
So Dr. Barr gets his suit all in order and heads out to hang with the hippos. The first attempt didn't work. The beasts took off, according to Brady Barr because they could smell him. So the only logical thing to do is cover the suit in hippo shit, right?
That's exactly what they did. Picture this. The guy is in a 200 pound hippo disguise, it's 150 degress in it and it's covered in SHIT. What would you do? Probably the exact same thing he did. Vomit and dry heave.
But he didn't give up. No no no. He went back. AT NIGHT. Fucking hell. WHY??????? I can't imgaine the fear of being surrounded by 40 hippos and having your vision impaired.
The sad thing is I don't even remember if he was able to collect the sweat because I spent so much time saying "why why why" and laughing my ass off.
Please watch this if you get the chance. It's very entertaining and even educational. I had no idea hippos were capable of a "dung shower", you learn something new every day.
I couldn't find a video of the dung shower, but you'll enjoy David Letterman talking about it.
Friday, January 25, 2008
Tag! Yo!
Since I've been out of town I have yet to get caught up on the DVR. I think it's about about 74% full so I better take care of that this weekkend.
I decided to post this tag blog instead....
The rules in this game of tag are simple -- once you have been tagged, you must write a blog with ten weird, random things, little known facts or habits about yourself. At the end choose 10 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says 'you've been tagged' and tell them to read your latest blog. Since you can't tag me back.. let me know when you've posted your blog so I can see it.
These are so hard for me to do without repeating ones everyone already knows. My life is an open book and I'm pretty vocal about things.... but here goes.
1. You know how much I love candy, right? Well, I hate twizzlers! Hate hate hate them. I wouldn't eat them if they were the last sweet thing in the house and I had had a bad bad bad day. They are THAT gross to me.
2. I never grocery shop. I never go to the store specifically to fill my cart with things that will get me through the week. Basically I just buy what we need for one or two evenings. It's not even close to economical, but it saves me a lot of time since the grocery store is very convenient for me.
3. There are two words that I can't say and I avoid saying them at all costs. 1. Hors d'oeuvre and 2. Filet Mignon. Chris has spent countless hours trying to get me to say them right, it's ain't happening so I just don't use them.
4. I hate with a burning passion the music my husband listens to. He loves Techno. It sickens me. And by "sickens" I mean I can easily become physically ill listening to it.
5. I have a relationship with a group of girlfriends that's impossible to explain. They've kept me sane when I thought it was impossible and every day I try to be a better friend to them because they inspire me and make me want to be a better person. I'll just leave it at that!
6. This is really gross and I'm almost ashamed to admit it, but I've started what I like to call the "sickly sweet" routine. I've started being really sweet with customers at work. Not to say I haven't always been nice, it's just that now I've been working on "reading" my customers better. Some want "all business" and some want "sickly sweet". Judge if you want, but it works.
7. I have one bedroom in our new house that is full of boxes yet to be unpacked. That's a lie. I have two rooms full of boxes that have yet to be unpacked and my back porch has a pile of empty boxes. We've lived here three months. Must do that this weekend.
8. I have to think about "then" and "than" whenever I type them. AND I still get it wrong. Sad. I worry about spelling errors, grammar and punctuation A LOT. It's never been something I'm good at.
9. I know NOTHING about Indie, underground or unknown musical artists. Most of the "new" music exposure I get is from the radio and sadly I have not listened to the radio much since 1997. You can tell what decade I'm stuck in.
10. I've developed a big problem recently. It turns out I obsessively give "fist pumps" or "pounds" when I'm drunk.
That's it. That's all the dirty laundry/unusual facts you are getting for tonight.
I have no idea how many of you are reading this blog. So consider yourself tagged if you do. Let me know if you post something. )
I decided to post this tag blog instead....
The rules in this game of tag are simple -- once you have been tagged, you must write a blog with ten weird, random things, little known facts or habits about yourself. At the end choose 10 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says 'you've been tagged' and tell them to read your latest blog. Since you can't tag me back.. let me know when you've posted your blog so I can see it.
These are so hard for me to do without repeating ones everyone already knows. My life is an open book and I'm pretty vocal about things.... but here goes.
1. You know how much I love candy, right? Well, I hate twizzlers! Hate hate hate them. I wouldn't eat them if they were the last sweet thing in the house and I had had a bad bad bad day. They are THAT gross to me.
2. I never grocery shop. I never go to the store specifically to fill my cart with things that will get me through the week. Basically I just buy what we need for one or two evenings. It's not even close to economical, but it saves me a lot of time since the grocery store is very convenient for me.
3. There are two words that I can't say and I avoid saying them at all costs. 1. Hors d'oeuvre and 2. Filet Mignon. Chris has spent countless hours trying to get me to say them right, it's ain't happening so I just don't use them.
4. I hate with a burning passion the music my husband listens to. He loves Techno. It sickens me. And by "sickens" I mean I can easily become physically ill listening to it.
5. I have a relationship with a group of girlfriends that's impossible to explain. They've kept me sane when I thought it was impossible and every day I try to be a better friend to them because they inspire me and make me want to be a better person. I'll just leave it at that!
6. This is really gross and I'm almost ashamed to admit it, but I've started what I like to call the "sickly sweet" routine. I've started being really sweet with customers at work. Not to say I haven't always been nice, it's just that now I've been working on "reading" my customers better. Some want "all business" and some want "sickly sweet". Judge if you want, but it works.
7. I have one bedroom in our new house that is full of boxes yet to be unpacked. That's a lie. I have two rooms full of boxes that have yet to be unpacked and my back porch has a pile of empty boxes. We've lived here three months. Must do that this weekend.
8. I have to think about "then" and "than" whenever I type them. AND I still get it wrong. Sad. I worry about spelling errors, grammar and punctuation A LOT. It's never been something I'm good at.
9. I know NOTHING about Indie, underground or unknown musical artists. Most of the "new" music exposure I get is from the radio and sadly I have not listened to the radio much since 1997. You can tell what decade I'm stuck in.
10. I've developed a big problem recently. It turns out I obsessively give "fist pumps" or "pounds" when I'm drunk.
That's it. That's all the dirty laundry/unusual facts you are getting for tonight.
I have no idea how many of you are reading this blog. So consider yourself tagged if you do. Let me know if you post something. )
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Sunday 1-20-08
Today was full of mindless television.
I watched a couple hours of "Lock Down" on National Geographic. I don't know why prison shows intregue me so much. At first I was a little concerned about what that said about MY mental health, but then I realized that if it's on TV I'm not the only one watching it. Like my justifications?
I'd never make it in prison. It would be a sad sad story.
I also checked out a couple of the "Taboo" shows on Nat Geo. It was a very educational day. The one about animals, more specifically pets was kinda nutty. I can't imgaine wanting to stuff (note I didn't use the term "mount") Tokus Pokus when she dies.
If you don't watch "Taboo" I highly recomend it.
Because Mr. KIA didn't leave for work until 3pm and my optimum viewing time on the weekends is from 7am - 1pm, there are still some shows on my DVR that I didn't get a chance to watch. There is the "Dangerous Encounters", where the dude actually dresses up in a life size hippo decoy suit to get closer to the hippos. Brilliant. What else what else what else. There is the Redneck wedding show I meant to watch and then later tonight "Rock of Love II" and "Celebrity Rehab" will record.
I did watch a movie. I watched "Clerks II" for the thrid time. I still can't figure out why this moive didn't do well. I frickin' love it! This video I'm posting is the best scene from the entire movie. It's Jay doing the Buffalo Bill from "Silence of the Lambs" impression. Phenomonal!
I watched a couple hours of "Lock Down" on National Geographic. I don't know why prison shows intregue me so much. At first I was a little concerned about what that said about MY mental health, but then I realized that if it's on TV I'm not the only one watching it. Like my justifications?
I'd never make it in prison. It would be a sad sad story.
I also checked out a couple of the "Taboo" shows on Nat Geo. It was a very educational day. The one about animals, more specifically pets was kinda nutty. I can't imgaine wanting to stuff (note I didn't use the term "mount") Tokus Pokus when she dies.
If you don't watch "Taboo" I highly recomend it.
Because Mr. KIA didn't leave for work until 3pm and my optimum viewing time on the weekends is from 7am - 1pm, there are still some shows on my DVR that I didn't get a chance to watch. There is the "Dangerous Encounters", where the dude actually dresses up in a life size hippo decoy suit to get closer to the hippos. Brilliant. What else what else what else. There is the Redneck wedding show I meant to watch and then later tonight "Rock of Love II" and "Celebrity Rehab" will record.
I did watch a movie. I watched "Clerks II" for the thrid time. I still can't figure out why this moive didn't do well. I frickin' love it! This video I'm posting is the best scene from the entire movie. It's Jay doing the Buffalo Bill from "Silence of the Lambs" impression. Phenomonal!
Saturday 1-19-08
It's not often that I turn off a movie before I've finished it, but last nights first selection was dull dull dull. We rented "I think I love my wife".
According to IMDb it got 5.6/10, this would have been good information to have before I insisted we rent it. Or my husband, Mr. Know-It-All could have been a little more adamant on not rending it instead of just saying, "I've heard mixed reviews."
It's possible the movie wasn't that bad, but I couldn't allow it to go on. I couldn't allow my image of Chris Rock to be tainted by a cheesy almost romantic comedy. I mean, come on! Chris Rock will always and forever be on the highest comedy pedestal for me. I've watched "Never Scared" about fifty times. He is a genius!!!
I'm interested in knowing if anyone actually enjoyed this movie.
The second movie of the evening was Reno 911! Miami. I don't watch the series on Comedy Central regularly, but I've seen it many times and find it absolutely hysterical. It's Lieutenant J Fucking Dangle for crying out loud. The shorts he wears just kill me!
The movie is exactly what you are expecting. It would probably be hard to enjoy if you've never seen the TV show, but with a couple of cocktails anything is possible.
If by chance you are still questioning if a person is born gay or becomes gay just watch Christian on Project Runway. I think it's pretty obvious he came out of his Momma as gay gay gay as possible. He is by far my favorite of this season.
Christian's Bio.
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